A very wholesome career
I’d been on Jdate for a few years by now and a waste of time blind date happening over and over has jaded me.
In general, I have a real issue with time – on both a macro and micro scale. What I mean by this is that I hate wasting my time. My ex boss asked me in an interview what I’m most scared of. I said ‘time’ which I thought was actually quite deep. An excellent answer considering I was put on the spot! Suffice to say I got this job.
On a micro level, time drives me mad as I can never get through my ‘to do’ list. On a macro level I get upset with time as in ‘where does it go’? The years just fly past. This really upsets me, especially when I find myself still single at 43 – not a place I want to be.
Because of this I used to go to the cinema and then a drink or dinner for a blind date. This way I wouldn’t have a waste of time blind date if I didn’t like them, At least I’d have seen a good film! In fact, this was the premise on which I set up match.com’s events programme. Each month we’d have e.g. a dinner/theatre trip or a sporting activity etc as well as more traditional dating nights such as speed-dating etc. However, this way you were able to meet like-minded people and have something also to discuss with them i.e. the play you just saw so you wouldn’t have a waste of time blind date.
Anyway, I was in this mindset when I met Gilad. I had spoken to him a few times on the phone (or so I thought) and his English wasn’t great. I knew that a long-term relationship was going to be highly unlikely. However, I wasn’t looking for the right things at this time. I was enticed by his good looks. He was a few years younger than me (as is the norm with the guys I date!). He was also extremely sexy looking from his pictures. Let’s be real, I should have known I was in for a waste of time blind date.
I was going to the Freeze Art Fair in Regents Park and didn’t actually have anyone to go with so I thought perfect, ‘I will kill two birds with one stone’. Accordingly I invited Gilad along, pleased to know I wouldn’t be wasting my time!
The arrangement was to meet outside Regents Park tube. I remember coming out the tube, calling to see where he was and a good-looking guys in a black t-shirt and sunglasses across the street answered the phone. Relief engulfed me, but I was excited at the same time, as often guys don’t look like their pictures.
We had an instant chemistry, in fact, unbelievably so. I remember walking around the exhibition with him not being able to concentrate on it at all as every so often our fingers would lightly touch each other. It is a rare occasion to have such electricity with a guy. This is the stuff that the romantic novels talk about that I was experiencing. It was made even more exhilarating by the fact that it was not exactly the place you should be showing public displays of affection or PDA as my friends and I called this when I was younger!
For those who haven’t been to the Frieze Art Fair let me tell you a bit about it. It happens bi-annually and is held in a giant marquee in Regents Park. It is full of the most incredible contemporary art that you can buy. However, the people that go there (and I guess I’m tarnishing myself with the same brush!) are rather pretentious, have money, or pretend to have money, and are looking around a lot to see who’s looking at them. I remember seeing Naomi Campbell there, but, either way, the place is full of very beautiful and well-dressed people.
So the PDA went on for a few hours and by the end of it it was getting v hard to pull us apart. Had we been in a different surrounding I might well have pounced on Gilad and he me!
After I’d exhausted walking up and down all the aisles to ensure I’d seen every single one of the paintings (in my typical style) I asked him if he wanted to go to get something to eat as I was hungry by this point. It was now early evening on a Saturday.
I had arrangements afterwards, some party/something to go to. NB I believe you should never make a date for a Saturday night, even if you don’t have anything going on. Saturday nights are about going partying to hunt for men, in my opinion or certainly in the mindset I had at this time. Also if you make an arrangement for a Saturday night it might give off the impression that you don’t have much of a social life. Anyway, I didn’t want to miss my arrangement as I knew it wasn’t really going to go anywhere with this guy but maybe then he could at least buy me dinner and we hadn’t really talked much during the exhibition.
We walked up to St John’s Wood High Street. Ending up in Ed’s Diner, we had a very nice dinner! It was the first time we’d really talked properly all day. The irony about having a date in an art gallery, is that you can’t talk. So you can’t get to know them at all! I hadn’t realised until this point just how bad his English was. My instincts were correct and this was the perfect date for us. I hadn’t wasted my time!
During the course of the dinner there were a few confessions that took me rather by surprise…
It turned out that all the phone conversations I’d had with him weren’t with him at all, but rather with his brother-in-law! He was still living with his ex wife whom he had a child with! This is, of course, was not an ideal situation to start a relationship from. In addition, he’d completely lied on his profile. He had stated ‘single with no kids’! To make matters worse, his life was even more entwined with his ex as he was in business with his brother in law.
Obviously I realised there was no potential between us. I politely made small talk for the rest of our dinner. So it turned to the question of ‘what do you do for a living’. He told me that he runs a website for Israeli transvestites and transgenders and manages the sex lives of them. You can choose who from the website to have sex with – so essentially he was a sort of pimp.
Like all good Israelis (see blog on dating in Israel) he was very keen to have sex with me. I was flattered as he was incredibly sexy. I was very attracted to him, but at the same time I knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere. So I decided not to, as didn’t want to hurt myself. I also would see this as wasting my time!
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry and may be I did both. Obviously I was utterly disappointed. However, I was relieved at the same time that I wasn’t wasting my time further! I had also seen the art with him.
So you see, as they say you couldn’t make this stuff up! Such is my dating life!
So what’s the moral of this waste of time blind date story?
Remember to check they speak decent English, or enough of whatever language you can communicate in! And, ask basic questions such as their job on the phone. Essentially vet them properly before meeting them! That’s if you don’t want to waste your time!
Share your story if you’ve had a waste of time blind date
Have you had a waste of time blind date? if so please share it to make us feel better and get it off your chest