You might think I’m not an authority as I’m single, however, on the contrary as I have had so much experience so know what works and doesn’t. This experience, is actually even better than what I learnt at the world’s largest online dating company, match.com. I used to work there. They started the dating category and now own most of the space too, OK Cupid and Tinder! As an aside match.com is owned by the IAC group which own Expedia, Hotels.com and Ticketmaster.
Your Dating Profile Photo
Let’s face it, the first thing people look at, and in my opinion, the only thing guys look at! Is the picture! So, make sure it’s a good one!
Try to get a friend to take some good ones of you, don’t just do a selfie or something in the mirror in your bedroom. This might seem obvious but so many people, especially the guys, do it! It also looks lazy, so if someone is not investing in themselves in their profile, maybe they’re not even serious about dating!
Ideally if you’re a girl, put on your most flattering outfit. Maybe also have a few different outfits e.g. a nice dress or skirt and top or jeans and a top for the eve with heels.
Be aware that if you’re going to show a lot of flesh such as your legs and/or cleavage it may attract a certain type of guy. You’re likely to meet people who’re interested in one thing only!
Be yourself in your photo. If you’re always dressed smartly then this is fine. Equally, if you dress a bit more hipster, this is also fine too. Usually people attract someone from the same ‘tribe’ anyway so this is fine.
If you’re worried about attracting a money grabber, then don’t pose by your (or worst still, someone else’s!) Porsche!
Again, likewise, even if you’ve got the best six pack in the supermarket 😉 you really don’t want pictures of you with your bare torso e.g. lifting weights. It certainly gives off the impression to me, you’re a bit of a meathead and may not have too much upstairs! And just the same as the girls you may end up just attracting people who are out for sex rather than a serious relationship.
Either way, as I learnt from my own experience, it’s best to have at least one good head shot and ideally something showing your full body/figure. Anyone savvy, like myself, who’s made the mistake of not seeing the full body will know not to date someone who doesn’t show this! Mean, I know but it’s true!
If you have the money invest in getting some professional photos done. You can also use the headshot for your Linkedin and/or work. Nowadays there are so many sites that require a headshot, you may as well have a good one!
Avoid having shots with other people, when people then have to work out who you are. Some websites even stop you putting these up. Also with children. If you’re a very proud parent you’re likely to want to show off your kids, however, remember this could also put people off at first – slowly, slowly!
Sorry about the gratuitous photo, I couldn’t resist! 😉
Your Actual Profile
I find there’s nothing more annoying than seeing a picture of a gorgeous guy and then reading the most terribly written profile. There’s no excuse for spelling mistakes and/or poor grammar. If you’re not good at writing or this isn’t your bag, find a friend who’ll help you.
I actually also offer a service for this, click here if you’re interested to know more.
You should give over the basic facts, as well as something interesting but do leave a bit of mystique. Open the subject that e.g. you love surfing, but you don’t need to go into every beach you’ve surfed on and/or all the medals you’ve won. Have something to talk about on the date!
If there’s something that people should know about you, it’s best to be up front, especially as you shouldn’t waste your own time, let alone others!
Fill in ALL the questions. For example, for me it was really important to know if someone wanted kids, so I’d actually search on this point. If you have left this blank, then you’re not even going to come up in my search! It’s ok to put that you’re ‘not sure’ but put something. Again, a profile that’s properly filled in looks like you’re serious!
Revisit your profile, and read it with a fresh pair of eyes. Even if you’re English is good and you’re a confident writer, it’s always helpful to have a close friend read it to tell you honetly the impression it gives off. For example, I really wanted to attract a nice jewish husband and look like the perfect jewish wife, however, mine looked more like I thought I was Indiana Jones as I was going on about how I’d explored the Amazon jungle and crossed China etc!
There’s also nothing worse, in my opinion, with those bland profiles that also try to cover all bases i.e. ‘I’m just at home in my pyjamas as an evening gown’ or ‘I love parties but I’m equally at home, watching a movie indoors’! Try to avoid clichés too where possible.