I know you’re pleased to see me, but what’s that in your pocket!?
As I say the only times I’ve really been caught out is by religious men. I naively think that they’re saints. Mainly because my sister became religious and I saw the changes that came with it and it was amazing. She used to be very arrogant (still is a bit) but she definitely became more humble.
Anyway, I was at a Purim party in Jerusalem. Obviously in the obligatory fancy dress. I went as a belly dancer in the outfit I’d bought a few years earlier during a trip to Marrakesh. I liked it as it was authentic, and, of course, was an excuse to try to look sexy. And I felt sexy! Dancing on the bar with my friends.
There was only one nice guy I saw at the party. I asked my friend about him. She verified he was a nice person and definitely worth dating, so we swapped numbers. I saw potential, he was the right age and was a bit religious so must want to settle down soon! Great for me as didn’t want to waste time!
Forward-wind to a week later, when he came to Tel Aviv (where I was staying) to take me out. Psychologically, I thought that as he’d come from a different city here (Jerusalem to Tel Aviv) he’d made a ridiculous effort. Actually, had this been London it wouldn’t have been a big deal. For the same travel-time, he’d still be in the same city – we’d have been just living in different parts of London!
Anyway, the date went going well. He was the perfect gentleman, had bought me dinner in an ok place. He was even walking me home, as it was the same direction he needed to get to the bus station!
Being the polite English person that I am, and clearly in hindsight (wow you always know everything in hindsight) clearly very naïve, I invited him in for a cup of tea!
Once in my apartment, I did feel suddenly very awkward as I went to boil the kettle. He sat down on the sofa which he patted to signal for me to sit next to him. I did but trying to leave a gap as if to say – I really don’t want anything to happen right now.
Suddenly, he pounced on me. Kissing me really hard – really, really hard! It was not pleasant. I didn’t want to make more of a fuss so tried to push him away a little. Next thing I know I feel something really hard in his pocket area. Except it wasn’t that! It was a gun!
OMG did I feel even more vulnerable. I managed to stop the snogging and asked him why he was carrying a gun. Now I know it’s not so unusual for Jerusalemites to have gun licences as they want to defend themselves from the Palestinians. However, back then I didn’t really know this.
Either way, it took me by surprise, both the pounce and the gun! It really was a case of Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me! And I learnt my lesson the hard way – NEVER EVER invite someone into the house, no matter how nice they seem, unless you’re ok with something happening. Obvious, I know, but like I said, I was rather taken aback by these religious guys!