Don’t be caught out by the rain, or religion!
I was running out of ideas to find my Jewish prince, but I came to the conclusion that if someone was more religious then maybe they’d be a bit more serious when it comes to dating as they’d be looking to settle down. So it seemed that religious Jewish dating was the way to go!
Attending a Friday night/ Shabbat dinner one week, I got chatting to a nice looking religious French guy. We exchanged numbers.
He called me during the week. We arranged to meet up the following Shabbat during the day as it was going to be nice weather, so we planned to go for a walk. Typical of religious Jewish dating!
He lived slightly too far from me to walk to, and then go for a walk! As a Jew you’re not permitted to drive on the Sabbath, but as I was less religious than him. I got the bus down the road to his house!
The other problem with religious Jewish dating on Shabbat is that you can’t use the telephone either. This means once you make an arrangement, unless you don’t really want to risk not seeing that person again if you blow them out, you have to stick to it! Typical of England when the day for the date came around it was pouring with rain, despite the weather forecast of being sunny! But I stuck to the plan and knocked on his door at the designated time of 3pm.
Now as most girls know, you don’t go into a man’s house on a blind date or for the first date anyway, if you want to be seen as wife material. Also for safety reasons! It’s always a recipe for disaster, and was in this case.
He came to the door and there I was cowering under my umbrella as the skies had opened above me. It was pounding down with rain. It was anything but walking weather, so he invited me in. After a rather long pause, during which I contemplated the above (i.e. would I ruin my chances by going upstairs? what would the consequences be?) I decided to go up. I thought to myself, the guy is religious, so I’m safe. Nothing could happen, we’re doing religious Jewish dating!
Once in his apartment I immediately noticed the Torah (bible) opened on his coffee table. I’m not sure if he really was reading it or, had left it out at an attempt to impress me, but either way it did! It also reassured me a bit that he wasn’t going to pounce on me, being a religious man.
But oh, how wrong I was. We started chatting on the sofa. I tried to keep my distance and position myself as far away as is possible on a 3-seater sofa from him.
Now there was chemistry on my part. Clearly, he felt something for me too, as the next thing I know, he pounced. Going in for the kill, he started kissing me, giving me very little choice as to whether or not I was going to participate! And being French, we’re talking French kissing, big, fat, French juicy SNOGS! Snog, what an onomatopoeic word!
I wasn’t exactly responding with great passion. The fact that he pounced and wasn’t really giving me a choice in it, completely put me off. He still tried to take it further – passionately fondling me over my clothes. I kept pulling away coming up with very feeble excuses. Oh how thick skinned men can be! Well, maybe not thick skinned, he just wanted to get what he could! Unfortunately, I didn’t have the confidence at the time to just walk out the door. I like to think I would have done that now!
Eventually, he got the message and backed off. I managed to manoeuvre the situation to get us out of the house for a pizza, despite it still pouring with rain. Shabbat was finishing relatively early given it wasn’t the summer.
Despite his awful behaviour, there was something about Mr French that I was drawn to, although I didn’t want to chase him. Sure enough a few days later he invited me out to a special bar with him. It was a place I’d always wanted to go to, one of these bar/clubs in central London that’s extremely trendy for a while until too many people discover it, then it falls from favour with the really cool. At this point though, it was new and cool!
So I put on my glad rags, jumped on the tube, and went up to town to meet him. He told me he’d put my name on the guest list. Of course, when I got there it wasn’t on. I had to try to persuade him to come out to get me in.
Once in there, what I thought was more religious Jewish dating, was actually me with five of his French guy friends! No date at all! They asked me if I knew any other girls I could invite. Despite the chances being very low, as it was very short notice, I duly called all potential candidates and found a girl to come.
To my horror the poor girl couldn’t get in and they weren’t even offering to help! I was so disgusted with his behaviour, this time I made my excuses and left. I felt so bad for my friend, as well as myself!
A theme in this blog is that the Jewish dating world is just too small. It seemed that every Jew-do, or Friday night dinner I went to after this, there he’d be! If there were many attendees at the event, then ok it wasn’t pleasant, but I could manoeuvre myself to ensure I was sitting at the table in the opposite corner from him of the ballroom. However, if it was an intimate dinner, as it was once at the local rabbi’s house, it was unbearable as was impossible to avoid him:(
What’s the moral of religious Jewish dating?
No matter the circumstances, do NOT go into a guy’s house you don’t know!! Also just because it’s religious Jewish dating it can be a real false sense of security, so be careful!
Please share your religious Jewish dating stories!
It will be great to hear your experience, real catharsis for you too. You can share them here.